最近在整理東西時,出現了女兒八年級時寫的一首詩,描述了在不同的情境,扮演的不同角色。詩名是:My Many Faces,和大家分享:

 

                        My Many faces                              

I have many faces                                               one face belongs to the girl

that belong to very different sides                         who thinks about questions

           of me.                                                            and puts her hand up if she thinks

Everybody sees a different face                               she can answer it.

They vary as much as the colors                          Her face frowns in concentration

              in a rainbow                                                          during tests

Yet together make me as a whole.                       and afterwards she hopes she knew

                                                                                                      enough

One face is the face that belongs                                       to pass the test.

   to an obedient daughter                                   That face belongs to the student my

                 who smiles                                                               teachers see.

        she always says

“Thank you” after meals                            One face is the tearstained face

and only rarely argues.                             that belongs to a girl who thinks

  That’s the girl my mother sees.                                       she has failed.

                                                                                    That face belongs to a girl who cries

One face is the giggling face                           because she thinks she will never

  Of a hyperactive friend.                                  understand that math problem

 Who constantly talks in a stream                              or understand that friends.

           of words                                                        It’s a face that belongs to a girl who

     that come out as many                                                 feels that all is lost.

     multi-colored bubbles                                        That’s the face that belongs to the

 and float for a long time in air.                                        girl my tears see.

  That face may give words of    

            comfort                                                             One face belongs to a girl who

or simply give advice on math                           thinks everything is possible. 

That’s the face of the girl my                                              She is confident

        friends see.                                                         and strides across the school

                                                                                      and everywhere else

One face belongs to the little sister                          thinking about how she will

                 Begging                                                                        succeed.

 her older brother for help.

  She pesters and prods                                              That’s the face of the girl who my    

  annoying as a mosquito                                                               dreams see.

 until her promises to help.

That’s the face that belongs to the                                   And one face belongs to the girl

   girl my brother sees.                                                                   who sits by herself

                                                                                                 Listens to the music of the rain

One face belongs to a girl                                                                      outside

who tries to be noticed                                                       and cries over the world.

But who also at the same time                                             She knows she will never change

Doesn’t want to be noticed as                                                                (too ) much.

        weird.                                                                                          That’s the girl I see.

That face blushes and tries to stay

invisible-and succeeds most of the

 tiime.

That’s the face of the girl my crush

     (Doesn’t) see.

 


 


讀著這首詩,想到媽媽們常常說孩子在家很調皮,在外面卻表現的很乖巧。孩子在家裏和在學校,好似完全不同的人。對朋友,也和對待父母不相同。也許這就是女兒描述的多重面貌吧!

 

在不同的情境扮演不同的角色是需要的。也可以想像是在不同的場合戴著不同的面具在與人互動。而家的本質是不必每秒鐘都得對自己警覺,不必刻意表現的地方。家是我們放鬆的地方。所以,回到家的行爲,和在外面不同是可以理解的。

 

孩子需要明瞭的是哪些角色行爲是應該的,是恰當的,是合理的,是受人歡迎的,會另人感謝的,然後歡喜接受,自然的做自己。

 

但這不是一件容易的事。因爲個性、認知程度、心理成熟度的不同,孩子在摸索過程,難免會有得罪他人,惹人生氣的時候,甚至闖禍的情形。爸媽們應該用心觀察,然後把握機會,讓孩子從經驗中習得合宜的行爲。

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教出這樣的好孩子

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  • Jin
  • How true that we are all who we are, with many faces, and may not change much after all.

    I have shared this with my daughter who is in middle school! Thank you!